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Feed on

Congratz Sen Brown!

Hey yallz! Sorry its been so long n stuff since I’ve posted but things have been like totaly crazy with the whole child birth in bar bathroom/failed drug test/cusstudy hereing/bitch social worker/rehab/GED thing. I jus wanted to take a min to offer my congratz to the new sentor from Massashoesets Brown!


I no people got all pissed at him after that hole Katrina thing in New York but he wuz doin his best for all those black people so lets let bigones be bigones and besides he’s got a smoken bod and a sweet pickup.

Sentor Michael Brown today, prez Sarah Palin tomorrow!

Eleckshun day is tomorrow so heres some things you can do to be prepared:

1. Know your poleing place. So I knows by the sound of it you think that your poleing place is that bar by the airport where you dance for money but your wrong. Your polling place is you go to cast your vote for Sarah Palin to get her electioned for president. Just go to any church, school or library where you havent been banned and they have to let you vote.

2. Take all your kids with you You get to vote once for every kid you have. That means that some of us older teens get to vote like SIX TIMES!!!! Also even though kids generally like to stand in long lines if they start misbehavin just yell at them at the top of your lungs so that everyone around you knows your a good mom.

3. Where your Sarah Palin t-shirt. Eleckshun workers like to see people where politics shirts cuz it shows your involved and stuff. You can also tell the people voting next to you who your voting for and why they should vote for Sarah Palin to cuz shes the best. If you don’t got a Sarah Palin t-shirt then just where your sluttiest outfit to show what a sexy biatch you are.

4. Dont loose focus When you get in that voting booth their may be lots of names on the paper but you dont have to worry about any of those. All those other names are just there to disorientate you. All you do is look for Sarah Palins name on the ballot and vote for her and then your done!!!

Contest weiners declaired

Heya girlz! I’m totally pumped to announce that we’ve declaired a winner to are poemtry contest. We didn’t get no submishuns to the Pimp your stroller contests so I guess my baby Thicket gets the prize and all you non-submitters suck. But I dont wanna put a pamper on the announcement of Lorna W. as are contest winner! Congrats Lorna!! We picked you cause your poem was the most Jesusy and Jesus kicks ass. You rock and we luv u lots! We will be contacting u for your address so we can send your tshirt.

We also got sevral other good poems so we decided to post them to. Those arthurs dont get a prize other than seeing there work live on the internets to be red by everyone. Enjoy the pomes girlz and remember to vote for Sarah Palin next Wednesday!!

First Prize

Life Lite
For Sarah Palin, and the U. S. A.!!

by Lorna W.

Sarah U light up my life and inspire my dream
When People Dis U
It makes me wanna Scream!!

U came out of Nowhere
Or Alaska, whatEV
And gave us a Vision
We could all Believe

A vision of Love and of Mom’s and there Kids!!
Having Kid’s, being Mom’s too—What gives?
Why can’t we all just Love one another,
Like you’re daughter, her kid, and you’re baby, her Brother?

And I just have to add, not meaning to be Rude,
That you’re husband is Hot, and so’s you’re daughter’s Dude!
MacKane, sure he’s Old, but he’s loyal and True
And he got U a Wardrobe from Saks Fifth Avenue!

So stand up for Life and for Jesus and Saks
Don’t let the Hater’s get U down
Cuz We got you’re back!!!

Run her up

Thank God He Gave Us Sarah To Hug Closer
by Kristy G.

More then a now gone and died dead moose shot by my Colt.
Stronger then a downpourin’ of God’s tears on my window pain.
Prettier then blood-red lipstick on a stuffed pig at Thanksgiving.
Thine, thine, swine, swine. Catch a moose and make him mine.
From Governor to President, or vice, Palin a leading this country sure will be mighty nice

Run her up

My Heroin
by Kelli A.

I know the reason
Our country is failin’
Cuz we haven’t had
A leader like Palin

She’s be so awesome
And she’d be so grate
I know she’ll make
Our country first rate

She will support
And I don’t mean maybe
Teen mothers like me
Who just had a baby

She’ll take care of me,
I know she will
And when she is Prez
It will give me a thrill

And not the kind
That you feel with boys
But just like my baby
When he plays with toys

So I just can’t wait
For Palin to win
And when she is Prez
Forever I’ll grin

Onerble Menshun

Reasun’s why I luv Sara Palin

by Elisa R.

Sara palin is the best
On Novembur 5 shell be the prez
I luv her cuz she super cute!!!!
And u betcha shell give those terrist’s and rushin’s the boot!!!
And i live in REAL amercia like she said
Cuz she luv’s the states that are red

And also i luv her cuz she has so meny kidz
And Bristol is totally preggers too
And sara is totally not freking out
Like my dum mom who is a TOTAL BITCH!!!!

When sarah is prez she can make a law
that ur uncle cant’ punch you in the JAW
when u tell him ur pregnit with his kid
And he will have to MARY you just like he said
Cuz even tho u didnt want to do it
He said he totally LOVEd you so you did it
And sara wud so pay for the rape kit
Cuz ur stupid uncl wooden pay for it
So now we can be a for realz famly
Like he said cuz sara STAND’S for famlie’s!!!!
Go sara!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

So she is totally the BEST!!!
And im totally glad on novembur 5 she will b the prez
Cuz her and me r both gonna b momz
And we will both be totally HAWT momz!!!!

i <3 sara palin!!!!

Onerble Menshun

by uhnonuhmus

There once was a woman named Palin
With teen moms behind her there won’t be any failin’
This beauty queen came forth
From the moose-filled deep North
Where she drank beer and listened to Van Halen

Thanx for all your submishuns girlz. Cant wait to do this again next year when Sarah Palin tries to win as prez two years in a row!!!

I went to my vagina docter today and she told me I’m not dialated yet what ever that means.  She ‘splained that means my baby girl isn’t gunna be born yet.  With the election next week I don’t know what im gunna do.  I mean if my baby isn’t born yet how is she gunna vote?  If I take a note from my docter will they let me vote twice?

Do any of you other preggo teens know??!?!

I called the election office and them bitches tried telling me the unborn can’t vote.  I’m like what ever bitches my baby deserves a vote to and stuff.
If my docter wont write a note then I’m gunna have to find a way to have my baby girl be borned before next week.  I heard from Amy that sex helps get the baby out.  I figure if sex got that baby in me than I’ll use it to get that baby out!:)!:)!:)! I have a couple guys who totally want to have sex with me.  I’m gunna go call them guys now.

I gotta have my baby vote for my girl Sarah for prezident!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!! Important news!!!

Hey girlz,

I just got a call from a black sounding man who told me that election day has been changed in my area!

Y’all need to make sure you go vote on WENDSDAY, not TUESDAY!!!!

This is super important and I wanted to pass this along to all of you.  I originally thought about just praying that everyone would get the word, but than I thought the internets are probably faster than even the power of prayer.  If anyone tries to tell you that the election is supposably on Tuesday, tell them their a filthy, libarle, baby-killer and you wont be a party to their godlessnessess.  Their just trying to trick us so Sarah Palin doesn’t get as many votes for prez!!!  Think about it, who would have an election during Dancing with the Stars or Deal or No Deal?  It makes know sense!

Don’t be fooled!!!  Show up to vote first thing Wendsday!!!!

Get prayin girlz

I’m sooo glad to here that this isnt the only site on the internets supporting Sarah Palin for prez!  However with the election just one week away desprit times call for desprit measures.  Its a good things these sites have popped up cuz we might need help from a higher power.


I’m almost as much into Jesus as I am into Sarah Palin so heres my prayer for her:
Dear sweet baby Jesus,


Thank you for making Sarah Palin pretty enough to be prezident.  I think she will be totally awesome and sence she has so many kids already she knows how to lead are country and stuff.  And when she gets tired of presidenting she can let Todd not my asshole stepdad but her first dude drive the country for while.  He’s kinda hot and fertil so he’d be a good prezident too.  I think theyd do a good job keeping us women in line and keeping teachers from giving too much homework except for that abstinence stuff.  I mean seriously I do 100 crunches a day my abs are just fine.  So like on election day god can you make the buses and subways not work so that the black people and poor people and librils and stuff cant vote?  After you make her president can you make the sun shine all the time and make the weather get warmer and warmer because cold weather sucks and it can get really cold in Alaska.


Oh and I guess while your at it can you cure her son from being retarded? That would rock!


I <3 u lots Jesus!!!!


– Amy

Things arent looking good on the campaign trale girlz. That black muslin dude seems to be gaining in popularity even though he isn’t a cheerleader or beauty pageant winner or on TV or anything. So thats why I’m super excited to announce’s contests!!! We need to get pumped up about Sarah Palin’s run for prezident and I think these contests are just the way to do it!

Here’s what you can do:

  1. Write a heartfelt soulfull poem about your feelings about Sarah Palin in our “Poor out yore heart for Sarah Palin” poetry contest.
  2. Deck out your baby stroller to show how much you love Sarah Palin in our “Pimp my stroller” contest.
Get your entries in soon and you could win some cool prizes to show off on election day!!

Hey gals! If your like me you spend lots more time on Facebook than you do studying or working or reading or exercising or going to those stupid prenatle classes.  So we decided to create are very own fan page on Facebook!!!!  We’d LUV for you 2 join are group and show how much you support Sarah Palin for prez!

See you on Facebook girlz!!

Surrownded by support

Hey girz!!  I’m super sorry its been a few days sense my last post.  I had to bale my stupid baby daddy outta jail again for something stupid like spitting on a cop or something.  He got all pissed off and stuff at me for using my stepdad Todd’s AMEX to bale him out saying he didnt wanna owe that asshole anything. I mean he wuz really really upset and shoved me a bit. But after I got him a beer he got all sweet and started calling me baby and saying he’d change and stuff and so really luv him lots!!!!

Anyways I’m totally lucky to surrownd myself with support to help keep are cause going even when I have to take time off to bale my stupid baby daddy outta jail.  My BFF Megan started posting and added some new shirts to are store.  I also decided to let Charity start posting hear 2 even tho she’s on the drill team and so is a total slut and isnt a good girl cheerleader like me and Megan.  As long as shes knocked up and wants to see are girl Sarah Palin be prez like we do then I guess its all good.

See even tho it sounds kinda liberal and socializingist and stuff I think you have to surrownd yourself with support if yore gonna get the job done.  I’ve surrownded myself with help from Megan and that slut Charity to help with this plantroots effurt to get Sarah Palin elected prez! I’ve even surrowned myself with help for little Thicket from people like Mitzy and even my asshole stepdad Todd.

I think Sarah Palin will surrownd herself with support 2 when shes prez and it’ll be quiet a team even if she just used her family. She could make little Trig her secretery of education and put Bristol in charge of her teen abstinance and wellfair programs.   Her closer advizer would OBVIOUSLY be her “first dude” Todd who looks kinda hot but I’m sure is still sort of a dick cuz his name is Todd like my asshole stepdad.  I mean I think he’d be an awesome advizer cuz he’s orientated for sucess.  So much so that he was a member of a group deadicated to helping Alaska secede for like 7 years.  With her husband being so deadicated to secession, Sarah Palin will be completely secession orientated too and that means she’ll be a great prez!!!


My gurl & fellow teen mom Amy wants me to start blogging hear.  My answer was like duh.  I’m all about that Sarah Palin.  I want her first in bitch running our kick ass country.

I love her so much I asked my baby doctor if I could get a Sarah Palin 4 Prez tattoo on my swolled up belly.  She said sumthing about social services and I was like bitch I am social.  How do you think I got knocked up with this baby in the first place?

If my baby is born before the election she’s voting for Sarah Palin to.  I’m naming my baby Chastity cuz it kinda sound like my name Charity.  My babys last name is gonna be Palin.  I was gonna give her her daddy’s last name, but I’m not all that sure who he is.  I gots me two baby daddies and my bitch mom said I can’t name Chastity after both daddies.  But how am I gonna get them both to pay?  My mom just isn’t all that smart sometimes.  I love her, cuz she is working three jobs so we can pay for Chastity, but she better be quiting one of them to babysit.  I’ve got me some work to do.  Sarah Palin needs to when this election and I’m helping her.  I’ve been standing on the street yelling at people to vote Palin.  Mostly I just get honked and screamed at, but I know them driver is still gonna listen and vote.

Sarah Palin for she-prez!!

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